Relationship Building In The Age of Remote Work

Jun 25

Even if you are not a fully remote employee, chances are you work with someone who isn’t in the office with you every day. It can sometimes be hard to build meaningful connections when working virtually, but it’s important to build strong relationships to help you solve problems more easily and have honest discussions that help you succeed at work. However, even beyond the logistical benefits, building relationships can help you feel more engaged at work and more fulfilled in all areas of your life. It can also open up additional opportunities down the road (check out our networking episode for more examples on how strong professional relationships can pay off down the road).

Actionable Tips & Takeaways

Maximize in-person time

A lot of times companies will provide opportunities to connect with co-workers in person. Whether it be an annual company event, a conference or traveling to visit customers, here are some tips for getting the most out of this time:

Push through the urge to skip social time: Especially if you primarily work virtually, in-person time can be exhausting and it can be tempting to just show up to the mandatory events. This can be a big missed opportunity! Make sure you arrive rested and have a plan to recharge after the event so that you can attend social events to make connection.
Go in with a plan: Think about who you want to deepen a relationship with and plan to spend time with them. For example, is there someone you work with every week but have never met in person or someone you recently had conflict with that was difficult to resolve (see navigating conflict episode here)? These are great people to seek out and spend dedicated time with. If you don’t make a plan, you will likely spend most of your time with the people you already have a relationship with and miss the opportunity to build new connections.
Be strategic about the setting: Don’t just opt to attend the big social events. This may make sense if there are a lot of people you are hoping to spend time with. However, if there are a couple of key people you’re hoping to deepen a relationship with, it’s ok to ask them if they want to skip the big event for a 1:1 or small group meal.
Plan travel together if it’s an option: Some of the best work conversations happen in planes, trains and automobiles. If you live near someone and are traveling together, see if they want to take the same flight or share a cab from the airport together.

Be strategic when connecting virtually

Making the most of in person time is a great strategy, but the reality is that most of your opportunities to build connections will come from your day-to-day, virtual interactions. Here’s how to focus on relationship building when working virtually:

Maximize video conferences

Keep your video on: This sounds obvious, but body language is an important part of communication. Meeting face-to-face will help build understanding and connection. Aim to be on video for at least 85% of your meetings. One helpful tip to avoid Zoom fatigue is turning off self view so that you are not looking at yourself all day.
If you’re not going to be on video, acknowledge it: we all get Zoom fatigue and need to take a break. When you’re not on video, acknowledge it either verbally or in the chat. It’s ok to say “have been on video all day and need a break but I am here and engaged!”. This can help make sure people know that you are still prioritizing the conversation with them.
Strategically choose the meetings to be on video: When possible, try to prioritize being on video with people you are looking to develop a strong relationship with or need to have a difficult conversation. If you need a break, try to make it the meetings where you already have a strong relationship or 1:1 chats where it will be a back and forth conversation throughout the meeting.

Get good at meaningful small talk

We’ve all sat through the awkward silence at the beginning of the meeting while people are joining. It doesn’t have to be awkward! Use these moments like you would in person and engage in light conversation. And don’t just ask about the weather… use these micro moments to build connection.

Share something about yourself: it doesn’t have to be deeply personal but share something you’ve been working on or an anecdote from your personal life. This gives people an entry point to connect to you.
Recognize others for recent work: Lack of recognition is a consistent theme that pops up on employee engagement surveys. People love to be recognized for the work they do! If you noticed a recent project was completed or saw something a team member was working on, acknowledge it and start a discussion about it.
Be curious about what people are working on: Share something you’ve been working on, get quick input and ask others what they are currently working on.

Find ways to connect outside of your day-to-day operational work

Employees at thriving workplaces are going to spend most of their time on their core responsibilities. However, many companies create opportunities for employees to participate beyond their core function. Take advantage of these opportunities as a way to build connection:

Do Professional Development with others: Many companies provide a professional development stipend. Use it! Once you find an opportunity you’re interested in, ask others if they’d like to join you.
Participate in an Employee Resource Group or culture activities: Many companies will have resource groups for employees or ways to plug into specific cultural initiatives. These are great opportunities to meet new people you don’t normally work with and build connection.
Ask your manager to plan a virtual event: If it’s been awhile since your team has connected beyond the work, see if there is budget to plan a team event.

Tips for managers

Your team is going to be better at solving problems together and more productive if they feel connected to each other and develop strong relationships. It’s important to create space for relationship building and facilitate opportunities for the team to connect. Try these strategies:

Create space to share positive moments: People often feel more connected when they are sharing positive experiences with each other. Create a weekly or bi-weekly standup where the focus is simply to share wins. You can also incorporate this into existing meetings but it can often be rushed and less impactful if the only time you create space for this is also a time when you’re focused on operational business topics.
Find budget and prioritize virtual events, even if the thought seems cheesy: It can sometimes feel forced to get everyone together for a virtual happy hour or “fun, social time”. But, it’s still important to create space for this! Instead of a general happy hour, try learning together by taking a virtual class or having someone on the team teach the rest of the group something that isn’t work related.
Encourage your team members to apply the strategies above: It can sometimes be hard to encourage people to be on video or participate in social events. It’s normal to think “is it really my place to tell them how to operate?”. While you should always be empathetic to people’s operating styles and be wary of mandating things like “always having video on”, you should continually share the value of building strong relationships at work, discuss strategies for doing this in performance and career conversations and explain the benefits of applying the strategies above.