Navigating Conflict In The Workplace

Jun 18

Conflict in the workplace is UNCOMFORTABLE. If we don’t thoughtfully identify conflict as it comes up and develop healthy strategies for managing it, the same triggers and habits we’ve developed from experiencing conflict in our personal lives will take over by default. This often results in building up walls to protect ourselves, avoiding difficult conversations, and holding in our frustrations until we BLOW UP and burn bridges… all things that make people not want to work with us and halt career growth!

In this episode, we examine what healthy conflict in the workplace can look like and talk about how to lean into conflict to develop deeper relationships and grow your career.

Actionable Tips & Takeaways

Identify healthy v unhealthy conflict

Conflict is necessary in a healthy, growing business: Innovation doesn’t come without conflict. In fact, research shows that business growth is dependent on people speaking up to share their ideas and debate multiple viewpoints. Signs of healthy conflict management:

Direct communication - folks say what they mean to the person involved
Active listening to understand - team members actively try to understand each other's perspective, not just defend their own
Folks feel safe disagreeing - there is psychologically safety and a culture of challenging ideas or decisions without fear of backlash
Focus on the issue, not the person - the conversation stays centered on solving a problem, not assigning blame
Shared accountability - each person owns their part and contributes to the fix

What is unhealthy conflict? Common signs of unhealthy conflict are whee there is a heightened sense of emotion that goes unacknowledged and unresolved. Signs indicating conflict is being handled in an unhealthy and unproductive way:

Personal attacks - criticizing someone’s character instead of addressing behavior or ideas
Avoidance or silence - withholding thoughts or shutting down instead of engaging in disagreement
Power struggles - competing to “win” rather than solve a shared problem
Repeated patterns - same disagreements recurring without any progress toward resolution

Manage conflict with your manager

Manager conflict can be scary, especially when it feels personal.

Get curious and take it as feedback: Disagreeing with your manager can often trigger defensive feelings. It’s okay to ask questions to get clarity on where the feedback is coming from and ask for examples.
Don’t try to “take the emotion out of it”: We’re human. For most of us, it’s not possible to “take the emotion out of it”. Explore your emotions when conflict arises by investigating why you’re feeling the emotions you are feeling. If you have a good relationship with your manager, share what you’re feeling and the reasons behind it, as this can build trust and help reach a common understanding around the root of the problem.
You don’t have to process it all at once - it’s ok to ask for time to process the information and ask to discuss in the near future: If you find your emotions escalating throughout the conversation, it’s ok to ask for time to process the information and to discuss at a later time in the near future. This can often relieve the tension and signal where you’re at in the conversation.
Share examples to showcase your point of view with the goal of reaching common ground. Explain your point of view by showcasing how you formed your opinion, using specific examples.

Manage conflict with a cross functional partner

Cross functional collaboration often requires conflict.

You’re often working outside of your department because you are solving a complex problem which requires input from multiple people who will have varying perspectives. Before diving into the tactics, it’s important to remember that this is where your strong relationships pay off. Focus on building a strong relationship and understand the other person’s priorities so that when a conflict arises, you’re working from this strong foundation. If you focus on building this strong foundation before a conflict arises, you’ll typically find that they will want to help you through it!

Build process around communication and decision making. Know when to leverage it and when to throw out the playbook: Implement standard communication channels and decision making structures to ensure you have a space to discuss conflict and a method to resolve it when it arises (RAPID is a great one if you often find yourself stalled in decision making). But it’s important to know when to break process. For example, if you find that the process is providing a negative customer experience or forcing you to break your commitments, you likely want to consider breaking process to meet the customer’s need and evaluate how you can tweak the process to ensure it serves the customer in the future.
Share goals and successes - a lot of times conflict arises because people don’t know what your priorities are and are confused why you are coming to them with a specific perspective.
Don’t let it linger forever: If not dealt with, conflict can fester and form divisions. Get good at identifying addressing conflict as it arises.

Bonus Tip: use an escalation model thoughtfully

If a disagreement isn’t getting resolved after 2-3 discussions on the same topic, it’s time to consider a structured escalation process. Often times, just taking these steps can lead to resolution without needing to full escalate.

Signal the shift. Let the other person know you’d like to follow a formal process to move things forward. Explain you can either escalate together, or that you'll need to involve your manager to reach resolution.
Create a shared summary of each person’s perspective and recommendation. If they agree, work together to write a brief, neutral summary of the situation. Focus on shared facts and perspectives—not blame. This becomes your starting point for involving your managers.
Loop in your managers. Send an email including both of your managers. Share the summary, explain where the conversation currently stands, and ask for their input on how to move toward resolution.

Cheat Sheet: Get good at conflict management, then leverage It

Conflict is often seen as something to avoid, but in reality, it’s one of the most powerful tools you can develop for your career growth, if you navigate it well. The ability to manage conflict thoughtfully signals emotional intelligence, leadership potential and collaboration skills - qualities that set people apart at every level. Remember, in times of conflict, to:

Stay calm when tensions rise
Be curious before you react
Listen actively
Try to understand and ask for examples
Stay focused on outcomes
Be direct when you share your point of view - it snowballs when you don’t understand each other - so tempting to beat around the bush and hope they come to the same conclusion
Start adding moments you’ve handled conflict well to a feel-good folder - a digital space where you store wins, thank-you notes and proud moments. Maybe you helped resolve a disagreement on your team that avoided escalation. Or maybe you turned a difficult conversation with a colleague into a stronger working relationship. These are powerful stories to tell in interviews, reviews or promotion conversations.

Remember: Conflict is ok and getting good at identifying conflict and the “root cause” can be a great way to fast track your career!

Tips for managers

Remember, how you handle conflict sets the tone for your team. Avoiding tension doesn’t make it go away - it just pushes it underground where it can fester and show up later as disengagement, low trust and even turnover. You don’t have to solve every conflict for your team yourself. Your role is to facilitate resolution, model calm, and create an environment where healthy conflict is possible.

Some tips to lead you through conflict effectively:

Normalize conflict early. Set the expectation that disagreement is a part of collaboration. In team meetings, or 1:1s, say things like, “It’s okay for us to disagree. That’s how we get better outcomes.” This helps build psychological safety.
Get curious, not defensive. When conflict surfaces, your instinct might be to protect yourself or shut it down. Instead, ask questions. “Can you tell me more about where that’s coming from?” or “What impact did that have on you” shifts the conversation into problem-solving mode.
Don’t mediate your team member’s conflict too soon. It’s tempting to step in and solve it, but your job isn’t to be the fixer - it’s to coach. If two people are in conflict, encourage them to talk to each other directly first. Offer support, but don’t rob them of the chance to build that muscle and relationship.
Model accountability and repair. If you’ve contributed to the conflict, or even just missed a cue, own it. A simple “I missed that, I’m sorry. Let’s figure out how to move forward” shows your team how to lead with humility.
Document wins in real time. When you help facilitate resolution, add it to your own feel-good folder. Whether it's a team rift resolved or a direct report who grew in their ability to navigate disagreement, these are powerful leadership stories to reflect on and share.

Your ability to lead through conflict is one of the most trusted and underrated leadership skills. Get good at it and encourage your team to do the same. You’ll build a culture that can weather tough conversations and grow stronger because of them.